Land of Confusion

Tell me why, Phil Collins?!

;)

So I THOUGHT I was doing well, back on track - and then I was UP.

A lot.

????

WI day on Tuesday was disheartening, I'm sad to admit my mind has wandered back to the time I was hooked on that ephedrine. As easy as it is for me to think that's a quick fix, I know it did lots of damage, and it's not a long-term solution. But I'm really in a weird state of mind - everyone telling me how skinny I was before I got pregnant, after my surgery, and how I'll have no problem getting back to that size again.

And how it's only been 2 months since I had Maddy.

But I still feel like I'm letting myself, and everyone else, down. That's right, it HAS been 2 months, and I'm still not able to lose weight! Everyone told me it would just fall off now, and it's not. And I'm starting to get frustrated. They used to call me "Slim" before - what if I can't ever get back to that? Will everyone think I'm a failure for not being able to get back to the body I had before?

*sigh*

I really need to stop being so superficial and selfish - ephedrine may have worked when I didn't care so much about my body, and didn't have anyone else to look after in my life. Now I'm married with a gorgeous, healthy baby girl. So much to be thankful for, and I love being depended on - I need to stop being so hard on myself, and just take it a day at a time. It took 9 months to put the weight on, I can't expect it to come off overnight.

But on the other hand, is it unrealistic to expect my body to at least LOSE a pound or 2 in a month?

Oh, the inner conflict ... sorry for the depressing entry!, but it's just one of those times I feel like I'm really struggling here.

This week, I'm trying not to have anything sweet, with the exception of the chocobran muffins I made a couple of days ago. I've been loading up on lots of raw veggies, drinking lots of water and v8 juice.

It's really tough - why is weight loss such a tough journey? It's so unfair!

So far so good...

**Ok, so it's Thursday, and for the past 2 days, I've been on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and I've done 20 min of stretching.

And today, I officially checked out my Rock 'n Roll stepper.

Still have to get used to it, I'm still awkward on it, but dang, once I get the hang of that bitch, it'll be loads of fun!

Been gettin' loads of raw veggies in, drinkin' lots of water, and severely limiting my sugar intake.

PHEW!

Tomorrow, my g/f from YYC is flying in to visit me and meet Maddy, chillaxin' with us for the weekend, going out for dinners, etc. I hope it won't be too hard to stick to my plans here, I really wanna see a loss on the scale on Tuesday!

Well, time for bed!

G'night, and GO AWAY, -44 WINDCHILL!!!

** this post has been unofficially endorsed by Bryan Adams, and the producers of his So Far So Good album. !!!

View from my treadmill

It works!!!

For today, anyways!

I put my li'l girl in her new cradle swing, downstairs by my treadmill, to see if she can sleep soundly for a long time to allow me to get some exercise and earn some APs.... AND IT WORKED!

Here's the view from my treadmill:

30 minutes walking at a good clip, and she's STILL sleeping! I can even get in some weights and stretching in, too!

I LOVE THIS CRADLE SWING!!!

Hopefully this becomes a trend, so that I can keep up my activity levels! Now I know this is do-able!

I forgot how much I enjoy sweating (and not just from being a busy mom) - I'm looking forward to getting back on track! This is super exciting for me!!!

:)

Well, I had it comin'...

2 weeks of not really keeping track of what I'm putting in my mouth, 2 baby showers, and tremedous lack of sleep = 5lb weight gain.

Yup, I'm up a whoppin' 5lbs.

But now with the baby shower outta the way (I've loaded Donovan's briefcase up with leftover dainties 'n stuff to get them out of the house!), and now with Madds getting into some semblance of a routine.... 'ish.....I should be able to focus better.

I'm going to start posting everything I eat again, like I used to before, so hopefully this helps me out a bit!

Brekkie
3 egg whites
1 cup yogurt
1 All Bran bar

= 5

Lunch
handfuls of raw veggies
assortment of fruit (say, fruit salad?) for maybe 1.5pts?
PC Mushroom Barley soup
8 melba toasts

= 6

I'll add to it as I go to keep mein arse on track here. How many APs can I get for the after-party clean-up?!?!?

Sabotage!!!

Good lord, what have I done?!

I know what I've done - I've sabotaged everything I've mentally prepared myself to do, to become, all for the instant gratification a few puff pastries (ok, QUITE a few) could provide. And they weren't even THAT good!

Here's the dilly - LAST week, I completely forgot to do my WI, so I thought, "Ok, I've just bought myself an extra week here, I'm gonna work EXTRA hard and see results NEXT week!"

Well, tomorrow IS "next week" - and I'm not even going to bother stepping on the scale.

Yesterday, we threw a come-and-go baby shower-style party for our new li'l one, and although I was too busy playing hostess to some 40ppl and their babies, I didn't get a chance to eat all the savoury sweets and yummy finger foods I helped to prepare.

That is, not until the party was over, and I realized how HUNGRY I was, and how the only accessible items to devour were those calorie-packed devils spread out before me, in all their greasy goodness!

So I indulged. Correction - I OVER indulged - and all day today, have been continuing to do so. It's much easier to pop a nanaimo bar square (or 14!) in my mouth instead of boiling eggs and making whole grain toast for breakfast.

Tomorrow's WI. It's also the day my daughter is 8 wks old. WOW. 2 months already. That breaks my heart how quickly time flies.

Ok, back to me and my weight loss journey.... Tony Little's little glories arrived in the mail (the Rock 'n Roll Stepper and the Ab Lounge Xtreme - why does it always sound more aggressive when the "e" is dropped in "extreme"? Something about starting with an "x" just HAS to be good, right?!). So now with these little gems, along with my treadmill and elliptical and set of weights, and the new cradle swing Maddy received as a shower gift (it's supposed to knock babies out cold so mommies can focus on other things!), I really have no excuse.

Standby, here's hoping the cradle swing does what it's supposed to, and I can have a bit of time in my busy day to focus on me and get myself back into shape.

Cuz I tells ya, after the crap I've been putting in my body lately, I feel like a sack, and I'm eager to get healthy and fit again so I can not only keep up with my baby girl, but look hot naked, too!