Eh

Well, I suppose I should be elated over the ONE lb I lost this WI, so that's ok....but with all the stress of house-hunting and such, I'm craving crap like crazy! (Holy alliteration, Batman!)

I didn't get ANY APs in yesterday OR today - we have an agent coming down tonite to check out our digs to see how to price it, and baby's been a complete snugglebug - which normally, I LOVE, but I can't put her down to get anything done!

Except bake a crust for a chocolate pudding dessert for my hubby.

Scratch that....for ME. (He's not home for another hour, what he doesn't know about, he won't miss!)

Speaking of which, the graham crust is done baking. Ok, so I made it HEALTHY with l/f margarine 'n stuff....whatever, I don't even really care today!

Before I go retrieve said crust from the oven (which I should do asap before this house burns down and we can't sell it for carp!), here's a pic of my baby I took this morning! We got her a tray for her Bumbo seat, and she kept pushing all her toys off of it! Soooo cute!!!

Someone switched the mirrors in my house...

So last weekend was my daughter's baptism - with out-of-town guests, lots of visiting ensued, my poor girl's schedule was out of whack - and so was my eating.

Are you KIDDING me? A big celebration with Ukrainians, of COURSE I had to serve perogies, meatballs, etc., but I also balanced it out with a veggie platter.

The latter remained untouched.

A house full of Ukrainians and a veggie platter? It was a nice thought with good intentions! And then with all those leftovers, well, they weren't going to eat themselves!, so needless to say I didn't even BOTHER weighing in on Tuesday! Strictly guesstimated what the scale might have said. I probably wasn't too far off.

And then, as if feeling all doughy like a perogy myself wasn't bad enough, I had "the moment".

I KNOW I put on 100lbs with my pregnancy. I KNOW I look nothing like how I did this time last year. But even with my sz 18 pants and my XXL top that I had specifically purchased to wear for Maddy's christening, I thought I looked pretty good when I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom as I was leaving for the church. I thought I was doing a good job of sucking in (of course, you can't suck in flabby stomach skin and ginormous porn-boobs!). I thought I looked pretty good for just having had a baby 3 months ago.

So I went to the church with confidence, hell, I even allowed people to take my picture.

Big mistake......and yet, a big awakening.

They sent me the pics from Maddy's baptism a couple of days later.

I gasped. I can't recall having been that mortified/horrified in years.

Who was that huge beached whale holding my daughter? My god, is that really ME?

NOT AT ALL what I saw in that mirror before I left the house. I had no idea how I REALLY look. I realize now that someone has swapped mirrors in my house with those in a circus' House of Mirrors. They gave me the extra-lengthening, uber-slimming mirror.

Well, I will be deceived no longer.

This really is the dawn of a new awakening. (Is that an Oprah book?!) A new me is on the horizon. I had a cosmetic procedure done yesterday. I'm going for a manicure/pedicure. I'm getting my hair done.....and most importantly, I'm following WW to a tee.

I have to keep reminding myself that it took me 9 months to put the weight on, and it won't come off overnight.

But I will keep the circus mirror regardless - no matter how deceiving it is, it's still nice to see what I can look like, eventually. Gives me something to work towards.

FINALLY

The scale moves in my favour!

It's only down 1 lb, but it's down nonetheless! WOOHOO!

Hopefully it's the beginning of a trend.....

Feelin' pretty good today, my baby slept through the night! So I'm kinda rested today - it's 1:30pm, and I've already got my 4 APs in! I may do more, depends on how the day plays out. Got some cleaning to do, some banana bread to bake - HEY, can anyone tell me how the oil/applesauce swap works? Is it a one to one ratio? Or do I still need some oil?

Well, I'm off to get the rest of my day going! Baby's napping in her cradle swing (a MUST HAVE for any new parent!), we'll see how much I can tackle today!

12 weeks til SUMMER?

Cripes, I've got some work to do!

Today I feel pretty good - tomorrow's WI (and incidentally, my baby girl turns 13 weeks old!), and even though I'm pretty convinced it'll be another repeat of the past couple of months (read: NO CHANGE ON THE SCALE), I think it's gonna be ok.

Of course, I'm saying that now because it isn't even 1pm yet and I've already earned 6 APS, and have eaten pretty healthfully. Lots of sabotaging can happen between now and WI!

God, I really have to stop with that pessimism!

But seriously, knowing that summer's literally 3 months away, and I'm back to work in a year, and knowing that my baby girl's growing so fast that soon she'll be walking and I'll need the energy to keep up with her, my whole mindset is changing, and I'm feeling pretty good about things.

Ok, so I did the treadmill, the elliptical, stretches and weights, and life is grand! (Wow, I really have an awesome baby! I'm only able to do this b/c she's napping!) It's almost time for Degrassi: The Next Generation (god, I'm pathetic!), so I'm gonna go get my lunch ready and prepare to wake her up for her bum change and her lunch.

But before I go, here's some video I took of her the other day (speaking of feeding)...I really DO feed my daughter, but you'd never know it by the looks of this!

I really am lucky - great husband, beautiful daughter, wonderful friends and family - life is good, I'm the luckiest girl ever!

Yo-yo's are supposed to be FUN!

Well, not when it comes to the scale, that's for sure!

I thought it'd be super easy, that I'd just watch the pounds melt away after Maddy was born - NOT SO! I thought breastfeeding was supposed to help deplete the massive amount of extra weight I put on. AS IF!

Of course she's totally worth it, I just didn't think I'd have this much of a struggle!

The good news is, I have a fabulously supportive husband who's helped to set up our home gym so that I have easy access to all my equipment without having to struggle to take it out or put it away when I'm finished - now, it's all right there, right in front for me to use...as they're intended, not just as clothes hangers anymore!! HA!

And now that Maddy almost kinda has a routine, I can almost count on being active everyday while she naps. It's just been lately, she's too much of a snugglebug and I can't seem to put her down for her regular naps, and our schedules get thrown for a loop and I'm super tired! She's just hitting another growth spurt, I know this too shall pass...in fact, now that she's in her cradle swing (Mommy's TRYING to get her to have her afternoon nap), I should really be taking advantage of this time...ok, here I go!

:)

But before I sign off for today (again, sorry for the hiatus), Madds and I had such fun this morning, I had to pull the camera out - seriously, how cute is my little girl?!!! 12 weeks old already.... such a little lady...

Land of Confusion

Tell me why, Phil Collins?!

;)

So I THOUGHT I was doing well, back on track - and then I was UP.

A lot.

????

WI day on Tuesday was disheartening, I'm sad to admit my mind has wandered back to the time I was hooked on that ephedrine. As easy as it is for me to think that's a quick fix, I know it did lots of damage, and it's not a long-term solution. But I'm really in a weird state of mind - everyone telling me how skinny I was before I got pregnant, after my surgery, and how I'll have no problem getting back to that size again.

And how it's only been 2 months since I had Maddy.

But I still feel like I'm letting myself, and everyone else, down. That's right, it HAS been 2 months, and I'm still not able to lose weight! Everyone told me it would just fall off now, and it's not. And I'm starting to get frustrated. They used to call me "Slim" before - what if I can't ever get back to that? Will everyone think I'm a failure for not being able to get back to the body I had before?

*sigh*

I really need to stop being so superficial and selfish - ephedrine may have worked when I didn't care so much about my body, and didn't have anyone else to look after in my life. Now I'm married with a gorgeous, healthy baby girl. So much to be thankful for, and I love being depended on - I need to stop being so hard on myself, and just take it a day at a time. It took 9 months to put the weight on, I can't expect it to come off overnight.

But on the other hand, is it unrealistic to expect my body to at least LOSE a pound or 2 in a month?

Oh, the inner conflict ... sorry for the depressing entry!, but it's just one of those times I feel like I'm really struggling here.

This week, I'm trying not to have anything sweet, with the exception of the chocobran muffins I made a couple of days ago. I've been loading up on lots of raw veggies, drinking lots of water and v8 juice.

It's really tough - why is weight loss such a tough journey? It's so unfair!

So far so good...

**Ok, so it's Thursday, and for the past 2 days, I've been on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and I've done 20 min of stretching.

And today, I officially checked out my Rock 'n Roll stepper.

Still have to get used to it, I'm still awkward on it, but dang, once I get the hang of that bitch, it'll be loads of fun!

Been gettin' loads of raw veggies in, drinkin' lots of water, and severely limiting my sugar intake.

PHEW!

Tomorrow, my g/f from YYC is flying in to visit me and meet Maddy, chillaxin' with us for the weekend, going out for dinners, etc. I hope it won't be too hard to stick to my plans here, I really wanna see a loss on the scale on Tuesday!

Well, time for bed!

G'night, and GO AWAY, -44 WINDCHILL!!!

** this post has been unofficially endorsed by Bryan Adams, and the producers of his So Far So Good album. !!!

View from my treadmill

It works!!!

For today, anyways!

I put my li'l girl in her new cradle swing, downstairs by my treadmill, to see if she can sleep soundly for a long time to allow me to get some exercise and earn some APs.... AND IT WORKED!

Here's the view from my treadmill:

30 minutes walking at a good clip, and she's STILL sleeping! I can even get in some weights and stretching in, too!

I LOVE THIS CRADLE SWING!!!

Hopefully this becomes a trend, so that I can keep up my activity levels! Now I know this is do-able!

I forgot how much I enjoy sweating (and not just from being a busy mom) - I'm looking forward to getting back on track! This is super exciting for me!!!

:)

Well, I had it comin'...

2 weeks of not really keeping track of what I'm putting in my mouth, 2 baby showers, and tremedous lack of sleep = 5lb weight gain.

Yup, I'm up a whoppin' 5lbs.

But now with the baby shower outta the way (I've loaded Donovan's briefcase up with leftover dainties 'n stuff to get them out of the house!), and now with Madds getting into some semblance of a routine.... 'ish.....I should be able to focus better.

I'm going to start posting everything I eat again, like I used to before, so hopefully this helps me out a bit!

Brekkie
3 egg whites
1 cup yogurt
1 All Bran bar

= 5

Lunch
handfuls of raw veggies
assortment of fruit (say, fruit salad?) for maybe 1.5pts?
PC Mushroom Barley soup
8 melba toasts

= 6

I'll add to it as I go to keep mein arse on track here. How many APs can I get for the after-party clean-up?!?!?

Sabotage!!!

Good lord, what have I done?!

I know what I've done - I've sabotaged everything I've mentally prepared myself to do, to become, all for the instant gratification a few puff pastries (ok, QUITE a few) could provide. And they weren't even THAT good!

Here's the dilly - LAST week, I completely forgot to do my WI, so I thought, "Ok, I've just bought myself an extra week here, I'm gonna work EXTRA hard and see results NEXT week!"

Well, tomorrow IS "next week" - and I'm not even going to bother stepping on the scale.

Yesterday, we threw a come-and-go baby shower-style party for our new li'l one, and although I was too busy playing hostess to some 40ppl and their babies, I didn't get a chance to eat all the savoury sweets and yummy finger foods I helped to prepare.

That is, not until the party was over, and I realized how HUNGRY I was, and how the only accessible items to devour were those calorie-packed devils spread out before me, in all their greasy goodness!

So I indulged. Correction - I OVER indulged - and all day today, have been continuing to do so. It's much easier to pop a nanaimo bar square (or 14!) in my mouth instead of boiling eggs and making whole grain toast for breakfast.

Tomorrow's WI. It's also the day my daughter is 8 wks old. WOW. 2 months already. That breaks my heart how quickly time flies.

Ok, back to me and my weight loss journey.... Tony Little's little glories arrived in the mail (the Rock 'n Roll Stepper and the Ab Lounge Xtreme - why does it always sound more aggressive when the "e" is dropped in "extreme"? Something about starting with an "x" just HAS to be good, right?!). So now with these little gems, along with my treadmill and elliptical and set of weights, and the new cradle swing Maddy received as a shower gift (it's supposed to knock babies out cold so mommies can focus on other things!), I really have no excuse.

Standby, here's hoping the cradle swing does what it's supposed to, and I can have a bit of time in my busy day to focus on me and get myself back into shape.

Cuz I tells ya, after the crap I've been putting in my body lately, I feel like a sack, and I'm eager to get healthy and fit again so I can not only keep up with my baby girl, but look hot naked, too!

Phew!!!

I'm down 3.5lbs this week!


Slight amount of sabotaging today - I figured I could celebrate on WI day, and spend the rest of the week getting mein arse back in gear!

Well, I'm officially a sucker, a chump, a desperate, pathetic woman....I have an online shopping addiction, and have succumbed to the evil that is The Shopping Channel and it's promotion of Tony Little products.

I have just purchased Tony Little's Rock 'n Roll stepper AND the Ab Lounger Xtreme.

They LOOK pretty cool. The online reviews say they're magic machines.

Now I wonder how magical they really are .... you can bet I'll be submitting my own product reviews here, and tracking my progress, if any!

Time to tend to the babe now!

3.5lbs lost, in one week.... such a great loss, such a long road ahead....

Yikes...

It's Monday night, and tomorrow - in fact, ALL Tuesdays - are, and forever will be, bittersweet.

It's Maddy's weekly birth-anniversary (she'll be 6wks old tomorrow!), and it's also my WI day.

Why I chose TUESDAYS of all days to be my WI, who knows?

Oh, maybe it has something to do with the fact that that was the day, 6 wks ago, that I lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time! (kinda like my 35lb cyst surgery!)

It's been a crummy week of attempts to collect APs, but I've tried to manage my eating, so we'll see what happens...... yikes.....!

New Year, New Baby, New Me!!!

HELLOOOO!!!

To anyone out there who may still be on board with this here ol' blog of mine, WOW, you deserve a medal! And you're officially on my Christmas card list!

It's no wonder why I haven't posted in ages - I've been a tad pre-occupied, and will continue to be for the rest of my life, it seems - but I did it!

I went and had a baby!

And a BEAUTIFUL baby at that!

Her name is Madelyn Reese, and I'm not biased or anything, she really is the world's cutest baby! And loudest, I might add! (The nurses at the hospital told us that we had the loudest baby in the nursery. NO KIDDING!)

Born on January 8th (Elvis' birthday, I've been told!), our little angel weighed in at 8lbs 7oz, despite my hopes of having a 100lb baby to justify my atrocious weight gain through my pregnancy!

At any rate, our little girl is perfect, life has definitely changed, and I'm ready to reclaim my old body. Not for me, but for my new family. I need the stamina and energy to keep up with my daughter! MY DAUGHTER! Still sounds so surreal to say!

So here I am, having rejoined WW online, it's been 6 weeks since my c-section and I've already begun getting back into the routine of healthy eating and points-counting.

The exercise part, well, that's a bit hard. I mean, how many APs can I claim for doing 82 laps around the house trying to shush a fussy baby?!!! Although Maddy lets us sleep for a stretch of 5-6hrs most nights, I'm still pretty exhausted by the end of the day with her. Man, all she does is eat, sleep and poop, and I'm still so wiped!!!

I will try to hit up my treadmill and elliptical again, and my Turbo Jam video, but we're still trying to find our groove, get into some semblance of a routine.

(Right now she's napping, so I'm taking advantage of this time to update my blog and re-commit myself to my weight loss journey.)

Wow, she doesn't usually nap this long...I'm gonna go poke her to make sure she's still breathing!

(new mom paranoia.....!)

PHEW! We're good!

Ok, well now that I've officially re-committed myself online here to any and all who cross my blog path, I have to stick to it and hold myself accountable.

Here I go!!!

Ok, one more pic....!

Thanks for tuning in, everyone! I totally appreciate your support!!!